“It was not easy being a caregiver but staying cheerful and positive helped. I’m glad to have been by my sister’s side when she needed me.” – Amanda Pang
2019 was a sad year for Amanda Pang’s family. She lost two family members to cancer. Her 83-year-old father died of lymphoma in October 2019. It was a shock to her family but she was greatly relieved that he did not suffer much as he passed away in his sleep about six months after his cancer diagnosis.
But for her 54-year-old sister, Poh Choo, who passed away in September 2019, it was a long and difficult struggle. Poh Choo and Amanda were not close when they were young because of their eight-year age gap, but they became close after Poh Choo fell ill and Amanda became her caregiver.
Poh Choo was first diagnosed with colorectal cancer in 2012, and underwent many rounds of chemotherapy and radiation therapy. She had surgery and lived with a stoma bag for about a year. She returned to work after her stoma bag was removed, and Amanda’s family thought she had recovered fully. Unfortunately, she had a relapse in 2015. Her cancer continued to grow and spread. In 2018, her doctors suggested admitting her to a hospice but Poh Choo refused, so Amanda tried my best to care for her at home.
Poh Choo lived with Amanda, together with their elderly parents, Amanda’s husband, Lucas, and their seven-year-old daughter. Amanda learnt to administer her medications through intravenous transfusion and hired a domestic helper to assist in caring for her daily needs. Despite being in great pain, Poh Choo was very stoic and did not complain much. Amanda remembers Poh Choo confiding in her about her severe pain when sitting or lying down only after she had three sleepless nights.
As a caregiver, Amanda was often worried for Poh Choo. However, with support from her family and Singapore Cancer Society (SCS), she was able to pull through. Said Amanda, “It was really worrying when Poh Choo had episodes of vomiting and fever, and I would sometimes panic or feel helpless. SCS Hospice Care was my lifeline. The SCS nurses gave me invaluable advice and followed up with us meticulously so I never felt alone. My husband too, was my rock. He would make time during his work or lunch break to drive Poh Choo to her medical appointments. Even my daughter would help to keep an eye on her aunt.”
She added, “Poh Choo enjoyed good food so we would go around Singapore to get her favourite food, like the Sembawang White Bee Hoon. Even though she could only eat a little, tasting her favourite dishes always made her smile. We were happy to do what little we could to brighten up her days.”
After battling with cancer for about seven years, Poh Choo passed away peacefully at home. For Amanda, it was not easy being a caregiver but staying cheerful and positive helped.
She said, “I’m glad to have been by my sister’s side when she needed me.”